Listen and Hear Me

How do you know when it’s all worthwhile? How do you know that everything you’ve put forth is right? How do you know when you’ll be hurt, or when you’ll be healed? How do you know what step to take next? Will it be for you, or for the collective, or some other incomprehensible congress? How do you know…?

Sitting – soaking – sinking into my thoughts; my insecurities, my fears. Immobilized by my own mind, though my body has already claimed this control, I feel lost and don’t know how to fix this; this feeling of gross uncertainty. I seek council, guidance, and support.

‘Help me, God,’ runs unbroken through my mind – thoughts of desperation. I reach out and feel nothing; out again, feeling walled. I retract my reach and wrap around to find comfort in myself – I will listen.

We call unceasing talk a “broken record.” But in saying this, do we in fact break the record? For though we communicate through sight, sound, body, and pen, it is the security of being heard – listened to and understood – through which we know our wondering can be finite; and if broken prematurely by impatient annoyance, risky leaps of a decisive nature are taken; some vital, some not. So listen and hear me; and I will do the same.

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8 thoughts on “Listen and Hear Me

  1. Hello, my mother has health problems and she found herself asking god- “why me? Why now? And why can’t you fix this?”. She and I both realized in our personal beliefs that the answers we want right now are not the ones we need. Life has a funny yet, odd way of having everything connect. It’s hard now, and it will be hard, but you have such a good introspection on your feelings that if anything and everything that comes out of this- it’s your personal strength that shines through.

    I hope you and I know you can make it through. I also really respect how raw and vulnerable you are about things- that takes bravery and how you are able to turn something you thought that could hold you back into something more uplifting. All the best and great post.

    Sam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. I wish the best for her in her situation and you as well; as health matters impact more than the person. You are strong for being a support for her. It is these moments that we all are forced to reflect and focus on making better for ourselves; you’ve put it incredibly well.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting with such kind and encouraging words. I am doing my best, though sometimes I wish I could do more, but it does come with time and I’m learning something about myself and life every day.
      It means a lot that you read my post. All the best to you and I look forward to your next post 🙂

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  2. Reblogged this on myms2016 and commented:

    The sincerity of listening–reaching out, attending to, and valuing the thoughts and needs of another–has no comparable measure. To listen and to hear, truly, is a comforting blanket of care–support–most valued. It is most needed during times of vulnerability, self-doubt, and health struggles; both mental and physical. Moreover, the comfort is felt from both ends as the blanket stretches its warmth, understanding, and consolation; extending towards empowerment. We are not on placed on this earth to be alone, so it is imperative that we recognize what is missing. Listen and hear me. Gain understanding. Grow a community.

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  3. Somewhat speechless I feel, yet in the same breath, I extend hopeful comfort that my thoughts are endlessly searching for ways to console, comfort and empower. My efforts to listen sometimes lack hearing but my heart will never cease to hold warmth, beating with a strong sense of motherly love seeking to sooth, heal and uplift. My inner being holds close, even if from afar, each of my children, believing passionately their dreams, goals, and talents, the world is blessed to encounter.

    Bravo to your inner strength, intimate depth, gracious compassion and passionate endeavour to empathize, to enlighten, to educate inevitable cultivating community & improving humanity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the warmth, support, and encouragement 😊 it is so appreciated; more than I express. It is difficult when family are not near; making listening even more valuable, and sought out.
      Beautifully written, and gratefully received–thank you ❤ xx

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  4. I wouldnt understand the struggle your going through; and what goes on’ as your body brings on all those symptoms. Its gotta be real tough.

    Tho i really do enjoy reading your words. I dont nessarly understand. (You may already know this theory) but i wanted to mention it anyway. When my physical symptoms act up it worsens my mental health; and visevera..since your mind and body(emotions) are interconnected. So when im having bad thoughts it causes psycial symptoms like fatique, fear and worsens negative symptoms of SZ. And, when i feel those physical symtoms it worens my cognition; its quite a cycle to be cought up in. And, you have a beautiful mind so try not to let the way you feel or an adversary play tricks on it.

    ‘God cares about everything that concerns you, so he cares about what you are going through. “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1Peter 5:7 and tho that aint always easy, n’ keeping up hope isnt either when your struggling, tho keep persevering and doing your thing and im sure you’ll find the answers your looking for!

    All the best,
    -Rob

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Rob, for reading and sharing your thoughts.
      It is a theory I am aware of–a theory I am quite perceptive towards also. I am joyed to know you enjoy my writing, and for your kinds words. The mind is certainly powerful. I pray hard and often, and have found an immeasurable amount of hope and enlightenment in doing so. I wrote this piece last year and have come a long way since. I appreciate your support and message about the power of the mind–this is simply my way of recognizing my feelings and not suppressing the realities, which I had done before my diagnosis.
      Thank you for sharing your own experience with me, also, and what you have learned in your experience with SZ–I hope and pray for you to be surrounded by goodness and good health.
      Kindest wishes.

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      1. I’m glad you found the meaning and the hopeful intent of the comment. The mind is a powerful thing and I’m glad you already knew of that mind-heart theory, I’m sure you do have a lot of insight into that, you do seem enlightened your quite intelligent haha that’s why its (for me) tough to understand; but if you find your self touching on that in a future publish please defently do let me know. Your courage to talk about your inventories on MS tho and share that with people is admirable, hope you realize it does help people, stuff you recognize within yourself, can bring out other people’s realizations And, as it does for me I wouldn’t recognize some things within myself if your publishes didn’t bring them to light. Old peice or not that’s kinda where I’m at so:

        Thank you for the kindest wishes and prayer, prayer is a powerful thing and it’s kinda a prayer I needed. Im glad you came a long way since then; tho even if it comes in small steps or big leaps (I know God doesn’t try anyone) by when your going through a test progress’ comes in many forms. But im Glad your where you feel you are today. I also pray you keep growing, be’ blessed with more and more wisdom discernment, and guided by all the fruits of the spirt.

        Thank you for your kind words to

        Kindest wishes to you to.

        Liked by 1 person

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